Dear Lyla,
This year was the first time you really got excited about Valentine’s Day. For you this holiday was on par with Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas; you even had a count down on your calendar. I believe that you were excited for a couple of reasons; because you really like holidays and because the idea of celebrating how much you love people was incredibly appealing to you. You have never been reserved with your affection or verbal declarations of your admiration and that is one of the things that I love about you. It was fun to watch you plan out what we would make for your school friends and it was a joy to observe you carefully select cards to send to family and close friends. I do not believe you expected any reciprocation, you were always focused on giving, another characteristic of yours that I adore. But receive you did; cards in brightly colored envelopes arrived in the mailed and you wiggled with anticipation as I slit the seals. On two occasions as you opened the cards grayish green paper floated out of them on to the floor; you had been sent money for your piggy bank! At this age you do not know the value of a dollar but you can count and you figured that you could buy presents for at least ten people with the money you had received (I love the fact that you are generous but college will be expensive so in your piggy they go). Seeing the money fall out of the envelope brought back a memory of both my Grandpa Henwood and your Bumpa. Your Grandma Jo thought I forgot this memory, but I hadn’t. Not at all. I knew it would be the subject of my next letter to you. Bumpa admired your Great Grandpa Henwood a great deal and over the years he adopted some of the same mannerisms, phrases and habits that Great Grandpa Henwood had exhibited. One of those quirks often displayed was, upon receipt, to shake a card and its accompanying envelope vigorously. The point of this exercise was to make sure that no monetary gesture of love from the sender had been carelessly overlooked in the card reading process. If greenbacks fell out there would be immediate squeals of delight followed by criticism of the paltry amount offered. If there was no monetary accompaniment you could hear “cheapskate” muttered not so subtly. Either of those responses was generally received by other adults in the room with laughter or lighthearted chastising. I didn’t understand until much later that the façade had a purpose. We were to feign belief that Bumpa and Great Grandpa Henwood were Scrooges and misers, grumpy old men that were prickly and not easily moved. You may ask why we all played this game; it is a fair question. You see Little One, Great Grandpa and Bumpa were easily moved. Both had soft underbellies and it was easy to touch their hearts with the mildest of gestures. But in their own way they were each a bit shy and embarrassed by such attention; and so they turned to humor in order to participate in such social conventions as gift giving. If truth be told, your Daddy is a lot like Bumpa and Great Grandpa Henwood in that regard; but you already know that Daddy is a big softy who acts silly a lot of the time. (When you are older you will learn that these behaviors are called “defense mechanisms.”) For now Little One, enjoy every holiday that you can. Find any excuse to show those you care about how much you love them. Little One I want you to remember that when the grumpy guys in your life tease you it means you hit your mark and we both know you are a crack shot.
Letters To Lyla 